Words by Nobody's Darling

the boy who didn’t read

the boy who didn’t read    

    nvr spoke more than a few words 

five at the most 

he curled into my bed

    fingers freezing 

    and tucked into his boxers 

    and on my breasts for warmth 


the boy who didn’t read

    picked the condoms off my bookshelf 

        next to baldwin and hughes

he nvr looked at the titles

    and felt a sense of security 

    but he found safety in me 


the boy who didn’t read

    moved inside me and 

he wrapped his fingers around 

    my neck for familiarity 


the boy who didn’t read 

    fucked me next to walker


                  and lorde 

    and nvr knew they told me to never find a home in him. 

never listened to my mother as much as i should have

whenever i start to date someone new 

my mother asks, does he like you? 


i used to think what a silly question.

of course he likes me we hold hands 

kiss— romance and shit. 


i grew up and fucked some boys discovered 

it is possible to fuck without being liked


without liking he can and will 

lay me down look into my eyes 


without liking he can and will

leave the moment i close them 

drifting into a blissful freshly fucked sleep


of course he doesn’t like me 

he doesn’t know me we don’t speak

we take our clothes off and move 

into each other anxious for a feeling

desperate for intimacy 


i take after my mother and 

ask my new boyfriends, 

do you like me?  

what i imagine runs through my white fuck buddy’s head

i have never been with a black girl who 

sucked cock so well i forgot i was 

cumming into the mouth of a black 

girl feared nothing was like 

i imagined i crossed the borders

her family were forced across a slap

on her face was more delicate than 

the porcelain white doll my mother locks

up in the glass case against the wall

i pushed my cock into black girl moans

and silent screams she couldn’t stop 

the crying she heard her mother - 

how could she let someone like that

fuck her - so hard she bit into

my shoulder made my fingers 

bleed when i shoved them 

into her mouth to keep quiet

must concentrate on ruining your

father’s image of you

Nobody's Darling is a queer black feminist, writer and storyteller based in Chicago. You can read personal essays and media recommendations on their blog. You can also follow their newsletter and Twitter